


Call of the Warners

by Kereea



Category: Animaniacs, Call of Cthulhu (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Comedy, Death, Gen, Horror, Horror Comedy, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicide, Typical Warner Shenanigans, Wendigo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 03:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17973995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kereea/pseuds/Kereea
Summary: Doctor Scratchansniff and Hello Nurse take the Warners on a vacation to the mountains while the studio lot is renovated and the water tower moved. But there’s some strange goings-on at the lodge, which may endanger the very fabric of reality as eldritch horrors rise…unless the kids have anything to say about it!





	Call of the Warners

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for the Call of Cthulhu campaign Cold Warning, which has been reworked to support this story.

 “So, where is this place, anyway? Will it have cable? Satellite?” Yakko asked as Doctor Otto von Scratchansniff finished carrying the siblings’ luggage down from the water tower.

 “It is a lovely remote mountain lodge and they have the internet,” the doctor said as he put the bags in the back of the van. “So, I assume they also have cable or satellite.”

 “I have a streaming subscription if you kids need it when I’m not using my computer,” Hello Nurse said.

 “Ooh, _streaming_!” the siblings all said eagerly.

 “Now, you tagged all your stuff, ja?” Otto asked. “So the movers know what’s what?”

 “Why do they have to move the water tower? What’s wrong with it?” Dot asked.

 “They are redoing the plumbing for the entire lot,” Otto explained.

 “This is Aquaman’s fault, isn’t it?” Yakko asked.

 “Don’t you blame him! He’s _dreamy_ ,” Dot scolded, clasping her hands with a starry-eyed sigh.

 “They are just redoing the _whole_ lot,” Otto said, gesturing as if trying to encompass it. “Making it better for the ever-evolving business, ja? It’s just the way of things.”

 “Yeah, I guess. Think we’ll get some new toons to hang with?” Yakko asked.

 “I’m not so sure about the upcoming shows, myself,” Otto admitted. “I know there’s a new Scooby Doo movie upcoming, so the Mystery Gang will still be around…”

 “They have a new movie like every year, doc, anyone _new_?” Yakko asked, helping his siblings with their seatbelts.

 “I told you, Yakko, I am not sure,” Otto said as the kids settled into the backseat of the car. “I know you all can’t wait for your new show, that will be fun, yes?”

 “I guess, yeah. Reboots, man, you never know how much to trust ‘em,” Yakko muttered. Dot and Wakko nodded in agreement.

 “All right! And here we all are!” Otto said, getting in the driver’s seat. “Now kids, I know it’s a long drive, but there’s a DVD player on the floor back there if anyone wants the movies, yes?”

 “Ooh, yay!” Dot said, leaning down for the player as Yakko and Wakko grinned at the passenger seat and greeted, “ _Hellloooo Nurse!_ ”

 “Hello boys,” Hello Nurse said, daintily covering a yawn.

 “Are you all right? You seem tired,” Otto said.

 “I’m hoping to get some rest on the drive,” Hello Nurse admitted.

 “Neighbors keeping you up again?” Otto asked. Hello Nurse nodded.

 “Want us to have a word?” Wakko offered. Yakko pulled out a small mallet while Dot produced her pet’s box.

 “No, no, I’m sure things will be fine,” Hello Nurse said, pulling out some noise cancelling headphones and a sleep mask with an apologetic glance at Otto. He smiled back and waved for her to use them, that he’d take what the kids dished out during the ride. For now, they seemed content to lightly squabble over what movie to watch first.

.o.o.o.

 The jeep wound its way up the early mountain roads, passing through gorgeous scenery any Disney animator would have given a kidney to put in a wintery scene. Many trees were bare, yet somehow beautiful all the same, and the trees that weren’t displayed their green needles proudly to stand out among their fellows.

 Yes, it was a truly lovely scenic route.

 It was also boring as heck if you were three young toons in the backseat of a car.

 “Is it going to be like this the _whole_ way?” Wakko whined.

 “I am afraid so, we left civilization behind at the last rest stop,” Otto said.

 “Wow. _That_ was the last gasp of civilization, huh?” Yakko mused.

 “I thought you said there was a town by the lodge?” Dot asked.

 “There is, but it is very small and quaint. Survives off the nature tourists, mainly,” Otto said. He grinned. “But I found out they have a very good _candy store_.”

 “Candy?” Yakko, Wakko, and Dot asked eagerly.

 “Oh yes. And since you’ve done _such_ a good job of behaving yourselves, I think we shall simply _have_ to get you some before we go to the lodge…” Otto said encouragingly.

 “Message heard loud and clear, doc!” Yakko said as Wakko and Dot giggled over the chance to get some really good candy.

 “Even though I smacked that guy at the rest stop with my mallet?” Wakko checked.

 “He _did_ yell at you just for asking if he was done at the water fountain, Wakko. I am not asking for perfection,” Otto said.

 “Oh, Okay,” Wakko said. He snickered as Yakko made an over exaggerated _phew_ gesture.

 “Does the lodge have a playground?” Dot asked.

 “It mentioned multiple ‘play areas’ for children, so I am sure there will be places for you to have your fun,” Otto said. “But the guest cabins are private, so leave those be.”

 “Those are probably for the _young newlyweds_ , huh doc?” Yakko asked, waggling his eyebrows.

 “Or just recluses who want some peace and quiet, children,” Otto said.

 “Speakin’ of peace and quiet, our dear Nurse’s headphones seem like they are out of this world in quality,” Yakko said.

 “Ralph and I pooled funds to get them to her for her birthday,” Otto said. “But she says she cannot wear them in bed.”

 “What about normal earplugs, then?” Dot asked.

 Otto shrugged. “You will have to ask her.”

 “Didn’t we just finish discussing why we can’t?” Yakko asked dryly.

 “You know what I meant,” Otto said.

.o.o.o.

 Hello Nurse didn’t wake up for a few more hours, thankfully takinf the Warner’s boredom off Otto when she did. They had just finished a rousing game of twenty questions—Dot having been Wonder Woman—when they pulled into the tiny town of Crikey Creek.

 The creek still wound through the town, though it was no longer filled the gold that had established the settlement to begin with. A few stores and houses dotted the road that then continued on up the mountain towards the party’s destination.

 “Where’s the candy store?” Yakko asked as Otto tried to determine if there were any marked parking spaces or you were just expected to pull off in a not-inconvient spot. Deciding on the latter, he parked on the side of the road.

 “Is that it?” Hello Nurse asked, pointin out the window by Dot to a storefront declaring _Crikey Candy (and supplies!)_.

 “Candy!” the kids cheered, rushing out of the car.

 “Look both ways!” Otto shouted after them as he got out of the car was well.

 The Warners stopped, looked, and dragged Otto across the street so he could pay for their candy.

 “Now remember, we’re just getting a snack and a treat for after dinner tonight,” Otto said.

 “Candy!” the siblings cheered, running into the store.

 “Oh dear,” Otto sighed, following them. To his delight, the kids were stymied from causing mayhem by the large glass case of candies to choose from inset into a counter by the door. They seemed mesmerized. “So, do you kids see anything you like?”

 “So…many…choices…” Wakko breathed. He thankfully pulled his tongue into his mouth as he pressed his face against the glass.

 “These ones look like little turtles!” Dot cooed over some exquisitely shaped candies.

 “Those are caramel turtles,” the shopkeeper said, smiling beatifically at the children. Otto chuckled. If she didn’t know what they were capable of, all the better.

 “Hm, not sure I want caramel over chocolate right now…” Dot mused. “And I don’t know what’s for dinner, so I’m not sure about caramel after…”

 “I’ll take these chocolates shaped like moose heads!” Wakko decided.

 “Peanut butter cups!” Yakko decided.

 “Oh, what the heck. Turtle me!” Dot decided.

 “I’ll just get some jellybeans,” Otto decided, pulling out his wallet.

 “All right then. Such polite children,” the shopkeeper said. The Warner siblings all beamed back angelically. Otto just chuckled again.

 “Well, they _have_ been waiting for your candy for a very long car ride,” Otto said. “We’ll be back tomorrow as well.”

 The kids all started to bounce as they were handed their candy bags.

 “Now remember, you should only eat half now, so you have desert!” Otto reminded them.

 “We know!” the kids said, bounding to the car.

 “…Three more turtles. Just in case,” Otto said to the shopkeeper as she leaned over the case to clean the glass the children had leaned on. “And we’ll be back tomorrow.”

.o.o.o.

 “So, this is the place, huh?” Dot asked as Otto parked the car.

 “It’s the only building for miles, so it’d better be,” Yakko commented as they hopped out and took a good look at the building.

 The entrance had a suitably dramatic archway with a sign that proclaimed its name, the _Wolf Peaks Lodge_. The Wolf Peaks Lodge had not, in fact, seen any wolves in its entire existence. By the time the main building had been completed, the native timber wolves were firmly extinct in the California Rockies. But the idea of wolves invoked a romantic feeling of nature that the lodge hoped visitors would buy into.

 The group gathered up their luggage and trudged across the gravel lot towards the doors. Thankfully the lodge had decided that accessibility didn’t break the theme too badly, and Wakko was able to jab a button with his tail to get the doors to open automatically.

 “Oooh,” the Warner siblings cooed, walking into the main hall of the lodge while Otto and Hello Nurse went to the desk over on the left to check in. The ceilings were high and arched, but without any painted naked people to be found. Just large wood beams holding up more wood. The tall windows were rounded with stones, with plush window seats beneath them. In the center of the room was a giant fireplace that also acted as a support column, fire cheerily crackling out four cutouts, one on each side of the cube at the base.

 The kids eagerly bounded over to the nearest seats in front of the fire, settling down on some floor cushions before beaming up at the people seated at a nearby table.

 “We’re the Warner brothers!” Yakko introduced cheerfully.

 “And the Warner sister!” Dot said.

 The three men at the table eyed them suspiciously. The young woman had the manners to wave weakly, seemingly confused by the Warners’ enthusiasm.

 “So, who are you?” Yakko asked when it appeared a reciprocal introduction was not forthcoming.

 Looks were exchanged among the table. One man gestured to another, who cleared his throat.

 “I’m Eric Lorenzo, that’s Cliff Clyde, and these is the esteemed Ricardo and Maria Purrloni,” Eric said, his voice stilted.

 “Nice to meet you!” Wakko said brightly.

 “Have you had any fun on your trip here?” Yakko asked.

 “And what are you implying?” Cliff asked suspiciously.

 “We want to know what’s fun to do around here. Since we just got here,” Yakko explained. “And we’re going to be here like a week. So, you know. If you had suggestions?”

 “The trails are nice,” Maria said after a pause.

 “Coo, thanks!” Yakko said.

 “Love your hair!” Dot told Maria.

 “Thanks, my dad hates it,” Maria said, smirking at Purrloni.

 “Teenagers. What do you do?” Yakko chuckled.

 “Children. What _do_ you do?” Purrloni asked back, dryly.

 “Kids, we have our room. Let’s at least drop off the bags, shall we?” Otto asked, waving the children over.

 “Yeah, okay,” Yakko said, shooting Purrloni an annoyed look before herding Wakko and Dot over to their adults. “So, we get a good view?”

 “Well, we are on the third floor, and that is the top floor,” Otto said.

 “The clerk assured me the room would be nice and quiet,” Hello Nurse said happily.

 “Aw,” the kids sighed.

 “You don’t have to stay inside it except for sleeping,” Otto reminded them. The Warners brightened up. “And when I’m not working on it, you may borrow my computer.”

 The kids shared eager looks.

 “ _Sure_ you want to trust us with that, Scratchy?” Yakko asked, smirking.

 “It is better than letting you get bored,” Otto admitted with a rueful shrug.

 “You’ve learned so much,” Yakko said.

 “The children will sleep out here, right?” Hello Nurse asked, gesturing to the living room.

 “Yes, which means they get the big TV,” Otto said.

 “Yay!” the Warners said, bouncing on the chaise and couch.

 “Now—kid, kids, listen? Okay, good. The couch folds out, but the chaise is just going to get bedding put on it. Is that going to work for you?” Otto asked.

 Dot grinned, “This chaise is fit for a princess!” She posed dramatically on it.

 “Well, there’s your answer,” Yakko said. “Wakko, you’re bunking with me.”

 Wakko gave his brother a thumbs-up before bouncing on the couch a little more.

 “What’s the bathroom sitch?” Yakko checked.

 “We have two, one off the ‘master’ bedroom Miss Nurse will have, and one right here,” Otto said. “So if anyone needs to go in the night, use this one.”

 “But if you kids want a nice bubble bath, you can use the one off my room,” Hello Nurse said.

 “Bubbles?” Dot asked eagerly. She looked at Yakko expectantly.

 “Oh yeah, we can go for that,” Yakko agreed.

 “I’m more of a shower guy,” Wakko said.

 “Come on, Wakko, _bubbles_ ,” Dot said.

 “I’ll _think_ about it,” Wakko said, caving to his little sister.

.o.o.o.

 Everyone settled into the room throughout the day, making up the Warner’s beds, making sure the kids had stuff to do before dinner, and in Otto’s case getting some rest after the long drive. After Wakko’s tummy started to rumble, they headed down to the dining hall to see what was there.

 The dining hall was a rectangular room paneled in dark wood, with lower light than the main hall for ambience reasons. This disagreed with the Warners, who all quickly pulled out flashlights to make sure they knew what they were looking at as they were led to a table.

 “This evening’s menu,” the waiter said, presenting them with some paper.

 “They have fries!” Wakko crowed triumphantly after using his flashlight to check the menu.

 “Our fries are quite excellent, young sir,” the waiter assured him before going to attend to another table.

 “Young _sir_. Ooh, fancy,” Dot said before taking her flashlight and looking at the menu herself. Hello Nurse leaned over to read Dot’s, as the ambient lighting really did make reading a challenge. Otto’s glasses seemed to allow him to manage to read his own.

 “Hm, burgers are usually a good pick…wonder if they’re good here,” Yakko mused. “Hey, you guys know about the burgers?” Yakko asked the two men at the next table. Both were tanned, one with brown hair and the other with black. The brown-haired man had a ponytail, while the black-haired had short, tight curls.

 “Yakko, be polite,” Hello Nurse reminded him.

 “Please?” Yakko added quickly.

 “No trouble. The burgers are _really_ good here,” the brown-haired man at the next table assured them.

 “Thanks!” Yakko said. “I’m Yakko, and this is Wakko and Dot. And the Doc and Nurse!”

 “I’m Bryce Williams, and this is my brother John,” Bryce said, gesturing to the darker-haired man.

 “Is there anything you’d recommend avoiding?” Otto asked.

 “Not really, we’ve had good food every night so far,” John said. “Best vacation I’ve ever had, really.”

 “That sounds good,” Otto said. “I’m thinking of the venison.”

 “Huh. Never had that,” Wakko said. “Think I’d like it?”

 “Wakko, you eat cement if you’re hungry enough,” Hello Nurse pointed out gently.

 “…Point taken. I’ll have what Scratchy has! With fries!” Wakko decided.

 “Yes, I think I will have the greens instead of the fries. I’m not as fond of fries as you kids,” Otto mused.

 “It’s because you’re a doctor, isn’t it?” Dot asked.

 “I am not a doctor of nutrition, Dot,” Otto reminded her. “Our nurse is the multidisciplinary professional, not me.”

 “This is about that TV doc, isn’t it?” Yakko asked smirking.

 Otto glared at him. “Do not name him in my presence.”

 The kids shrugged bu let it be. Everyone was soon happily digging into the food that was quickly brought out, preventing the kids’ boredom from causing any havok.

 “Excuse me.”

 The table looked up to see a heavyset older gentleman. He had a thick gray mustache and horn-rimmed glasses that sat beneath gray eyebrows that were clearly competing with the aforementioned mustache for dominance of his face.

 “I am Elias Pembroke, and I was wondering if perhaps the children might like my dessert?” Pembroke asked cheerfully, giving the Warners a wink.

 Yakko, Wakko, and Dot all nodded enthusiastically. Hello Nurse chuckled at their reaction.

 “Oh, that is very kind of you,” Otto said.

 “Well, I came here for my health, and I should really watch my sugar…” Pembroke said. “Would you children prefer the cake or the ice cream? I’ll have it sent to your table.”

 The siblings huddled before Yakko popped out and announced, “We’ll take the chocolate cake! And thanks!”

 “No trouble. Such adorable children can always use more cake!” Pembroke said.

 “We sure can,” Dot said, batting her eyelashes.

 “Oh dear,” Otto said, shaking his head.

 “Don’t worry, doc. We’ve had a _long_ day. I’m sure we’ll sleep even with extra sugar,” Yakko said.

 “Yeah, coming up with all those song parodies for _Moana_ has left me pooped,” Dot agreed.

 “And Hello Nurse’s Twenty Questions left my brain tired,” Wakko agreed as he poured more ketchup on his fries.

 “All right, all right,” Otto conceded. “You can have the extra dessert.”

.o.o.o.

 The next morning, the air was crisp and the sun was shining. The Warners woke up early, watched TV, fell back asleep, and then woke up again and went to go wake their favorite doctor the only way they knew how.

 With a brass band.

 “I thought we were going to let Miss Nurse sleep,” Otto scolded halfheartedly as the kids set aside their instruments and started jumping on his bed.

 “She’s already gone, left a note on the counter!” Yakko said as Otto climbed out of bed.

 “Very well. Shoo, shoo, let me get dressed,” Otto said, gathering the kids up and pushing them out of his room.

 “…I think he liked it,” Dot confessed as they waited for the doctor.

 “Well, we all managed to stay in the same key, that has to count for something,” Yakko mused.

  “When do we eat?” Wakko asked.

 Yakko knocked on the door. “Scratchy? Wakko’s hungry!”

 “Just a moment!” Otto called back before opening the door. “All right. Everyone ready to go eat?”

 “Yes!” the kids chorused.

 Otto locked the room behind them as they left and headed downstairs for breakfast.

 “So, I know this is breakfast, but our candy stores are a bit low…” Yakko hinted.

 “We’ll go to the candy store around lunchtime, okay?” Otto asked. “If you behave, of course.”

 “Of course, of _course_ ,” Yakko sighed. Oh well. Behavior for candy wasn’t so bad a trade.

 The dining hall was better lit for breakfast and sported a large buffet with a sign indicating you could ask the waitstaff for special orders.

 “Don’t eat the whole thing now,” Dot teased Wakko.

 “I know to save room for candy,” Wakko scoffed. His plate was still easily heaped the highest by the time they found Hello Nurse at a table, chatting with John Williams.

 “Hellooooo Nurse!” Wakko and Yakko said, saluting her as they sat down. Hello Nurse chuckled and saluted back.

 “Sleep well?” John asked the kids.

 “Yeah, once we were done jumping on the beds,” Yakko said.

 John grinned at them before turning to Otto, “Your nurse here tells me you’re a psychiatrist? My bro and I have lots of respect for you guys. Wish there were more.”

 “Yeah, good P-sychiatrists are in short supply,” Yakko agreed, clapping Otto on the shoulder. “And Doc’s one of the best! He’s even helping Wakko and Mr. Plotz with their fear of clowns!”

 “Which really benefits the clowns more than them,” Dot noted.

 “Mr. Plotz is the head of the studio lot,” Hello Nurse explained.

 “You must be one important doctor,” John said, looking impressed.

 Otto smiled, flattered, and waved him off with a chuckle, “Just doing my job, I assure you. And of course, my favorite patients are right here.”

 “You can say we’re…special cases.” Yakko said as his siblings both hugged Otto in response to the compliment.

 “You can’t be this cute _without_ being special,” Dot agreed as she and Wakko settled back in their seats.

 “Aw, sorry kids so young need help like that, but glad you’re getting it,” John said.

 “We’re toons. We’ve been kids a _long_ time,” Yakko said. “We’re actually older than the doc is!”

 “Slappy says we’re not mature enough to age,” Wakko said.

 “Huh. Never thought about that, but yeah, some toons stay pretty young…” John said thoughtfully.

 “Where’s your bro?” Dot asked.

 “Bryce? He’s out getting ski lessons. There’s going to be some serious snow tomorrow, so he wants to have the basics down. I’m not so into that, so I’m going to go skeet shooting later this morning,” John said.

 “Do they have any kids’ activities here? We only heard of the play areas,” Otto said.

 John shook his head, “Didn’t notice any scheduled. Think these little angels are the only ones here right now.”

 “Eh, we’ll make our own fun,” Yakko said.

 “If there’s snow coming, we need to stock up on candy,” Wakko told Otto seriously.

 “Very true. Can you stop yourselves from eating it all?” Otto asked.

 “We’ve rationed candy before,” Yakko said, shrugging. “Like when we got back in the Water Tower after the Berlin Wall thing. Made it last a pretty long time.”

 “Berlin Wall? You kids _are_ older than you look,” John whistled.

 “It’s a toon thing,” Yakko said before digging into his food once more.

.o.o.o.

 Otto and the kids wandered the grounds, finding a few different play areas set up for children. The Warners settled on a simple playground, playing out some kind of fantasy battle. With comedic twists and overacting, of course.

 Otto settled on a bench nearby to read a book he’d never gotten around to finishing back home, smiling at some of the children’s louder laughs and yells.

 “And then, the _mighty knight-_ ” Wakko began, only to be cut off by a sound.

 It was like a low whistle at first, before morphing into some sort of louder call. A long, single note, piercing through the trees. The kids all stopped playing as they and Otto looked around for the source. 

 “What was that?” Dot asked.

 “Probably the wind,” Yakko said quickly, reassuringly patting her on the shoulder. “Hey Doc, think the storm’s coming early?”

 Otto closed his book and looked up at the sky, the clouds didn’t seem to have gotten thicker…and yet… “Perhaps. Let’s go get the candy early, shall we? But don’t spoil your lunches!”

 “Yay!” Dot and Wakko said, previous fear forgotten. Yakko grinned at them before shooting a confused look at the woods.

 That had been too long for most animals, or anything with normal lung capacity. As a toon with pretty unusual lung capacity, Yakko would know.

 Eh. Maybe he was overthinking things. Could be a bad yodeler, after all. He followed his siblings and Otto to the car and put it out of his mind.

.o.o.o.

 When they returned with their candy, the lodge was in chaos. There was a police car, an ambulance, and a gurney being wheeled in.

 “Oh dear,” Otto said, herding the kids inside while trying to keep them out of the way of the emergency responders. “Oh, oh dear.”

 “What do you think happened? Did someone have an accident?” Wakko asked Yakko.

 Yakko shrugged, “I don’t know. Doc, should we ask someone?”

 “It’s poor Mr. Alistair,” Hello Nurse said, hurrying over once she spotted them.

 “… _Who_?” Otto and the kids asked.

 “He knew John and Bryce, they asked me to come with them to check on him…” Hello Nurse said, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. “There was nothing I could do. He was frozen solid!”

 “Oh my!” Otto said. The kids all comfortingly hugged their nurse.

 “What happened? Did the heat to his room go out?” Dot asked, quickly becoming teary-eyed herself.

 “We _don’t know_! There was a window open, but…we don’t know,” Hello Nurse said. “As soon as I saw him, I had the brothers call 9-1-1 while I tried to see if there was anything to do…but there wasn’t. Time of death was hours ago, at the very least.”

 “Frozen in your own bed…creepy…” Yakko said.

 “Oh, he wasn’t even in bed, Yakko,” Hello Nurse said, shuddering. “He was in the chair at his desk. Just…sitting there.”

 “He was frozen to death sitting up? Whoa. That…that sounds more like a gag than a…than a thing you know that… _yikes_ ,” Yakko muttered.

 “I’m telling you!” the group heard John snap loudly. They looked across the way to see him arguing with an officer. “This can’t have been a suicide! Al wasn’t suicidal!”

 “Nurse, take the children upstairs, please,” Otto said. “You’ve given your statement, ja?”

 Hello Nurse nodded, “Yes, yes, children, let’s go.”

 “What are you going to do?” Dot asked Otto.

 “Attend to your friends the Williamses as a p-sychiatrist!” Otto said, heading over to John as Yakko and Hello Nurse quickly pushed Dot and Wakko to the stairs.

 “Doc, Doc, you’ve got to tell ‘em. This can’t have been a suicide! Just because Alistair was a loner doesn’t make him suicidal!” John said, grabbing Otto.

 “Now, now Mr. Williams, I didn’t know Mr. Alistair. Making a pronouncement on his mental health is…ill-advised,” Otto said, gently taking John’s hands off his shoulders. “But I will help in any way that I can.”

 “Guy left the window open and froze to death. Not much to see,” the cop said.

 “Do you have proof he left the window open?” Otto asked.

 “It was open,” the cop said.

 “But can you prove _he_ opened it?” Otto asked. The cop glared at him. “Officer, we must deal in proof in these tense times.” The glare intensified, but another cop sighed and nodded.

 “He’s got a point. We’ll have to check the window,” John agreed.

 “Let’s go check the window,” the second cop said, waving John, Bryce, and Otto along to Alistair’s room.

 Otto looked around. Nothing seemed misplaced, and there were no tracks or other apparent sins of entry…of course, perhaps he was thinking like a TV crime show. The police probably would know more of what to look for than he would.

 Bryce and the officer made a beeline to the window, the officer gasping at what they found.

 “…The window doesn’t lock. Doc’s right. Could have been anyone,” Bryce said, showing them the broken latch.

 “Even from the outside…” John mused as the officer left to share the new information.

 “Ooh. I shall be locking all of our windows tonight, I tell you that,” Otto muttered.

 “Yeah. And I’ll be sleeping with a hot water bottle,” John said. “This is so…crazy.”

 “I am sorry about your friend,” Otto said. “Do you need to talk about it?”

 “We only met him a few days ago,” John muttered as they left the room. “But we ran in the same circles. Came up here to meet the guy some of our colleagues had mentioned, do some work together.”

 “What were you working on?’ Otto asked.

 “Confidential stuff,” Bryce said. “Sorry, Doc, but like you said. Got to deal in proof. And we don’t have that right now. No sense in throwing allegations.”

 “True,” Otto agreed, letting it drop.

.o.o.o.

 The next morning, snow came to the lodge, and came in huge drifts.

 “We’re pretty snowed in,” Hello Nurse reported as she came back from the office. “They’re going to clear the grounds, but the roads will take a lot more work. And more might be on the way.

 “Oh dear,” Otto said.

 “Good thing we stocked up on candy,” Wakko told his siblings, who nodded in agreement.

 “And that you didn’t eat it all at once,” Otto agreed.

 “Can we go play in the snow after breakfast?” Dot asked, batting her eyes.

 “Just make sure you are bundled up. Don’t need your ears or tails getting the frostbite,” Otto said, patting Dot on the head.

 “Yeah, we brought hats and stuff, it’ll be fine,” Yakko said as they headed down to breakfast.

.o.o.o.

 The grounds were cleared to a light dusting of snow, but closer to the woods the snow thickened from where it had been piled up and pushed aside. Naturally, this made a playground close to the woods the perfect place for the Warners to have some fun.

 Dot found a pendulum swing hung from a high, sturdy branch, and giggled as she swooped back and forth on it in the cold winter air. Yakko started a tunneling project into the snow mounds, exploring inside the depths of icy whiteness. And Wakko settled down to make a castle out of snow, sticks, and stones.

 “A little quiet for my tastes, but we never get snow like this on the lot,” Yakko said as he popped out of his latest tunnel.

 “Not unless we’re doing a winter special,” Dot agreed, still swinging.

 The back door to the lodge opened and Bryce Williams hurried out, looking relieved when he saw the kids.  

 “Hi Mr. Bryce!” Dot sang from the swing.

 “Hey kids. You might want to head inside, I think I saw something in the woods,” Bryce said, coming over.

 “Ooh! Was it a bear? A beaver? A fox?” Wakko asked excitedly.

 “It looked more like a person. And no good comes from a person skulking around in the woods,” Bryce said.

 “Maybe it’s just a hippie. Or a hermit,” Dot said.

 “Or a really lost tourist,” Yakko said. “You can’t tell me this place doesn’t get those.”

 “Still, better to be careful, huh?” Bryce said. “Come on, after what happened to Al…”

 “It’s okay, Mr. Bryce, we can take care of ourselves,” Wakko said, going back to his miniature snow-and-stick fort.

 At that moment, a monster leaped out of the woods.

 It was tall and thin, with ragged white fur and sharp, crooked antlers. Its maw opened, showing massive teeth, dripping with foul drool. Its glowing eyes locked onto the kids, especially the one sitting so casually on the ground. Easy prey.

 With his last sane thought, Bryce stepped between the monster and the children.

 “Eeeew!” the Warners whined, cringing at the sight and scent of the wendigo. As it lunged forward, Wakko leaped to his feet, whipped out a giant mallet, and smashed the monster into the ground.

 “No! No, no, no!” Wakko said, hitting a few more times for good measure. “No!”

 “Mr. Bryce, snap out of it!” Dot said, climbing his shirt and shaking him. “Pretty please?” She gave him her very best doe-eyes.

 “Whoa. That thing—that was—we need to get inside!” Bryce said after shaking his head.

 “Hey, it’s gone,” Wakko said, lifting his mallet.

 “Creepy!” Dot said as Bryce seized her brothers and dragged them inside, Dot shifting so she rode on his shoulders. Bryce slammed the door behind them and sunk to the floor after making sure it was locked.

 “What _was_ that weirdo?” Yakko wondered.

 “I have no idea. Never seen something like that,” Bryce said. “Thanks for snapping me out of that, Dot.”

 “No prob,” Dot said, curtseying.

 “We’d better find the Doc and let him know what happened,” Bryce said.

 “And that it just _vanished_ ,” Wakko said, shuddering. “Creepy!”

 Yakko and Dot hugged him reassuringly as Bryce got back up. They headed back into the main hall of the lodge and looked around for Otto, finding him working peacefully at a corner table. 

 “Kids? Mr. Williams? Is something the matter?” Otto asked upon seeing them hurry over.

 “Can, ah, we talk somewhere a little more private?” Yakko asked. “Don’t want to make a scene.”

 Otto stared at him in shock, realizing this must be serious. “Of course.”

 He shut his laptop and shoved it in his bag, quickly following the children and Bryce to a quiet hallway. “Now, whatever is the matter?”

 “There was a _monster_!” Wakko said. “But not, like, one of our lot monsters, a _real_ monster! With antlers!”

 “And fur that has _definitely_ seen better days,” Yakko added.

 “Yeah, it was _so_ creepy! And it must have put a spell on Mr. Bryce because he couldn’t move until I snapped him out of it!” Dot said.

 “So, I hit it with my hammer!” Wakko said, miming the action. “But then when it was under it, the zombie vanished!”

 “It was _so_ _creepy_!” Dot repeated.

 Yakko gave both his siblings another comforting hug to stop their shivering.

 “I went outside to warn them about it, saw it at a distance from the window,” Bryce explained. “And then I was…kind of useless.”

 “Do you know anything about this monster, Mr. Williams?” Otto asked. “You seem…calmer about seeing one than the kids, is all.”

 “My brother and I are paranormal investigators,” Bryce explained. “We were hired by Al to look for a missing person in the area who had some dealings with the occult. So…yeah. Wish I was surprised, but I’m not.”

 “Ooh. I don’t like the sound of that,” Otto said. “So, you think there is kooky magic stuff going on here?”

 “Very much so. I’m sorry I got your kids involved,” Bryce said.

 “You were just trying to get them out of danger,” Otto said. “I’m sure they don’t blame you, right kids?” The kids all nodded. “See? Even if you hadn’t gone outside, that… _whatever_ it was still would have been out there with them!”

 “Yeah, it wasn’t your fault,” Yakko agreed. “You just wanted to give us a heads up—and you did! So Wakko was ready!”

 Wakko mimed smashing with his mallet again, shooting Bryce a winning grin that Bryce shakily returned.

 “Do you think it’s just one? If it’s just one we could feed it to my pet and that’s that,” Dot suggested, pulling out her pet’s box.

 “It’s usually never just one,” Bryce sighed.

 “Darn. I don’t want the little guy to get indigestion,” Dot said, putting the box away.

 “I think perhaps we should get our nurse in the loop, so she knows of the danger,” Otto said. “It will give us time to think on what we should do.”

 “Yeah, I should tell John, too,” Bryce said. “Meet in our room in fifteen?”

 “Sounds good,” Otto said. As Bryce headed down the hall, Otto scooped the kids up in a big hug.

 “Everything okay, Doc?” Yakko asked.

 “Just glad you are all safe,” Otto said. “Let’s go find Miss Nurse.”

.o.o.o.

 The meeting in the Williams’ room was full of anticipation. The Warners oohed as John set up a small blackboard that everyone could see.

 “The occult stuff we keep an eye on is…well, my brother and I think it might be bigger than even we realize,” Bryce explained. “Supernatural forces so powerful, we’re like ants to them, and people just sometimes tap into the power for their own gain, or some such.”

 “You mean like Cthulhu?” Yakko asked.

 John and Bryce’s jaws dropped at his saying it so bluntly.

 “You know of the mythos of the Great Old Ones?” John asked.

 “Do you have any idea how many goofy mysticisms have been ‘in’ with the entertainment industry over the years?” Yakko laughed. “Course we’ve heard of it!”

 “Urgh, so many people thinking extradimensional beings will grant them fame and fortune,” Otto groaned as he thought back on annoying sessions with delusional celebrities and wannabes. “As if beings of such power even _care_ about those concepts! Should they be ones that exist, of course, statistically speaking it’s often people invent the forces themselves…”

 “I don’t know, between you and me I think that H-dude is kind of attention hungry. Is it just me?” Yakko asked. “He’s mad his bro Big C gets all the attention.”

 “…I really must caution against applying any sort of logical thought to the Great Old Ones, but sure, if you say so,” Bryce said.

 “Doctor, the children are using logic,” Hello Nurse noted.

 “We _are_ in trouble,” Otto agreed.

 “I can’t believe there’s some new kind of ghoul out there,” John said.

 “This thing was _maddening_ , Johnny,” Bryce said. “Whatever it was. Good thing the kids kept their heads.”

 “Why would we give them away?” Wakko asked innocently.

 “Never mind,” Bryce said.

 “So, you’ve seen similar monsters?” Hello Nurse asked.

 “Yeah, usually a little more undead-human looking, or snake-looking,” John said. “There was that one hairy one people thought was Bigfoot, though…”

 “We know the real Bigfoot. He’s nice,” Dot said. “Done great movie work.”

 “Or is he a toon Bigfoot like us?” Wakko wondered.

 “Well, he lives in the woods in the north Georgia now, so I’d say if he wasn’t real before he sure is these days,” Yakko concluded. The kids all nodded in agreement.

 “So, what do we think these monsters are?” John asked.

 “Creepy antler heads,” Dot said flatly. John laughed and toasted her with an imaginary glass.

 “Probably some type of carnivore, going by the teeth,” Bryce said, making notes on the blackboard. “Seemed to be looking at the kids as prey.”

 “We’re not that tasty,” Yakko said.

 “Especially Wakko,” Dot teased. Wakko stuck his tongue out at her. “Hey, it’s not a bad thing!”

 “So, who do we think we got here? Old squidface? The snakes? The gnarly guy? H-dude?” Yakko asked.  

 “H-dude?” John checked.

 “Yes, he has this evil play associated with him. Reading it seems to have an ill effect on those who do—I have never heard of it being performed, only read in book form,” Otto said. “It took years of work with the couple of patients I’ve personally had who have experienced such.”

 “But you’ve never seen this book?” Bryce asked.

 “No. Oh, what was it called… _The King In Yellow_ , I believe?” Otto mused. “I know there’s a safe parody of it floating around somewhere, and a collection of alleged misfortunes befalling readers. I’ve read the parody. If it’s anything similar, the play is a tragedy about a royal family. I am unclear where the madness is supposed to come in.”

 “Yeah, the information age kind of makes it hard to figure out when you’ve really got an occult text or not,” John agreed. “Seriously, if one more person tries to tell me a Stephen King novel is actually tapping into some otherworldly evil forces I’m going to go back to drinking.”

 “No you’re not,” Bryce said.

 “Okay, yeah, you’d throw any bottle out before I tried,” John agreed. “So I will _try_ to go back to drinking and Bryce will stop me.”

 “Darn straight,” Bryce said.

.o.o.o.

 “This is all so crazy—and not our usual kind,” Hello Nurse sighed as Otto and Yakko checked and double-checked all the windows in the suite.

 “Yeah, it’s spooky!” Wakko said, shivering.

 “You know, kids, how about you stay with me tonight?” Otto asked. “Just to be safe.”

 “Oh yeah, good plan,” Yakko said, guiding Wakko and Dot to the second bedroom with a secret thumbs up to Otto. The younger sibs quickly started jumping on the bed.

  “Thanks, Doc. I don’t want Wakko and Dot to get the willies,” Yakko said quietly.

 “Well, let’s try and keep you free of the heebie-jeebies too, yes?” Otto asked as they pushed his bed into a corner to make it less likely anyone would fall out, Wakko and Dot still bouncing atop it.

 “Oh. Okay,” Yakko said.

 Otto successfully fought off a slight cringe, lest Yakko take offense and retaliate with a trick. Sometimes he forgot how often Yakko was shunted into a parental role and was unused to the idea of someone watching after _him_ as well as his siblings. Still, Yakko deserved someone taking care of him too, sometimes.

 Otto went about his nightly routine as usual, since he already shared the bathroom with the kids most of the time. After some musing by the kids, they took the space by the wall, leaving Otto with the spot closest to the nightstand. Otto tried not to wish too hard about not getting push off the bed, lest he tempt fate in these trying times. He passed Yakko the remote, as agreed.

 “Nothing too violent or too old for you,” Otto said, pulling out his book.

 “Got it, Doc,” Yakko said as he brought up the TV guide.

 “Ooh, ooh, the Whitney Houston _Cinderella’s_ on six! Pick that, pick that!” Dot told Yakko.

 “That’s a good one!” Wakko agreed as Yakko changed to channel six, starting about half an hour into the film.

 The evening passed peacefully, the kids dropping off one by one shortly after the movie ended. Otto carefully pried the remote from Yakko’s hand, turning off the TV followed by the lamp and settled in. Hopefully there would be no nightmares.

.o.o.o.

 Wakko woke up screaming.

 “Whoa, whoa, easy!” Yakko said, trying to calm down both Wakko and Dot, who’d been startled by her older brother shrieking in her ear.

 Otto hit the quickly turned on the lamp by the bed, and, to try and make Wakko feel safer, quickly peeked outside the windows. He gave the kids on the bed a thumbs up.

 Dot nodded back with a weak grin while Yakko hugged Wakko.

 “Bad dream?” Yakko asked.

 Wakko nodded.

 “I’ll get you some water,” Otto said, heading for the door.

 “But what if there’s a monster out there!” Wakko asked, wide-eyed as he clutched his hat in terror.

 “I’ll be careful,” Otto assured him. He smiled as Wakko quickly handed him a mallet. “Thank you.”

 Otto turned on the other lamp in the room as he passed it, before carefully opening the door and checking outside it, more for Wakko’s benefit but he had to admit, with the spooky things going on one couldn’t be toon careful. Moonlight leaking around curtains illuminated the kitchen, allowing him to snag a glass by the sink and quickly fill it.

He glanced towards the windows as he went back to the room. No, he’d locked everything last night. He’d been certain and Yakko had also checked.

 Otto reentered the room, wincing slightly when Wakko gasped.

 “Just me!” he quickly reassured the kids, handing Wakko the water.

 “Slow sips,” Yakko advised as Dot patted Wakko on the back.

 “Do you want to talk about it?” Otto asked.

 Wakko shuddered, lowing his water. “It was awful! It was one of those antler monsters, but it was made of wind, and it _ate Yakko_!”

 “Ooh. Well, trust me, very uneaten,” Yakko reassured his little brother.

 “I thought it’d be like that in the dream, but it didn’t happen! There was no comedic twist, no, ‘what you expect, a happy ending?’ no nothing!” Wakko said, tearing up.

 “Now, now Wakko,” Otto said as he got his thoughts together. “Sometimes, our minds, they throw things together all scary-like because _we ourselves_ are scared. The monster scared you, it’s scary cold out, and you’d be scared if something happened to your brother. Your brain just put all those things together in a creepy way because sometimes dreams just do that.”

 “It’s lousy,” Wakko complained.  

 “Yes, yes it is,” Otto agreed as Dot and Yakko gave Wakko another hug. “But it is not what happened, ja? So everything will be just fine tonight.”

 “Windows still locked?” Dot checked.

 “Yes indeed,” Otto said.

 “See!” Yakko said, taking the empty glass away from his brothers. “Everything’s cool. We’re all here and safe.”

 “Okay…” Wakko said, settling back down. Everyone else settled around him and tried to get back to sleep.

.o.o.o.

 In the morning, the Warners left Otto to sleep in and tiptoed down to breakfast themselves, Hello Nurse setting up the room to eat while they were gone…only to come upon a new commotion. They spotted John Williams standing a little off to the side of the yelling—which seemed to be centered around Purrloni—and hurried over to him.

 “What’s going on?” Yakko whispered.

 “Two of Purrloni’s guys are missing,” John said.

 “ _Hoo boy_ ,” Yakko muttered, nudging his siblings along towards the breakfast buffet with John bringing up the rear.

 “Do you think it was the antler-monsters?” Wakko asked at a normal volume, getting Purrloni’s attention.

 Purrloni stormed over and tried to loom over Wakko, slightly undercut by how Yakko stepped in front of Wakko and the taller John was able to loom right back at Purrloni.

 “What’s this one saying about a _monster_?” Purrloni demanded.

 “Kids saw some kind of weird animal the other day. Tried to charge them and my brother,” John said nonchalantly.

 “It was super smelly,” Yakko added. “Don’t really forget _that_ stink in a night.”

 Wakko nodded, still upset by his dream.

 “Was there a window open?” Dot asked, wide-eyed.

 Purrloni scowled at her, “Who leaves a window open in this weather?”

 Anyone who had heard of the fate of Alistair yesterday cringed heavily. Dot gasped, Wakko hugging her consolingly with a dark look at Purrloni for his insensitivity.

 “But did they?” Yakko pressed.

 “It was _smashed_ ,” Purrloni said. “And if this was some wild animal…”

 “Daddy, we’re on the second floor,” Maria said. “What kind of animal smashes through a second-floor window?”

 As it was his beloved daughter asking the question, Purrloni deigned to ponder it.

 “Unusual behavior,” Purrloni admitted.

 “When Al passed yesterday, his window was open,” John mused. “But the lock was broken, so someone could have opened it from the outside…”

 “If our window locks worked, whoever did it could have gotten frustrated and smashed the glass!” Maria gasped.

 “Seriously, I’m starting to feel like we’re in an Agatha Christie novel,” Yakko agreed. “Someone or something is picking us off…”

 Everyone turned to look at the current lodge staff member available. As he was but a humble busboy/mechanic/temp, his knees shook and he politely asked, “Would…you like to see a manager?”

 “Damn right I want to see a manager! This is outrageous!” Purrloni said.

 “Yes sir!” the employee said, hurrying off.

 With her father distracted by the intent on yelling at the manager, Maria waved the Warners and John to the buffet behind his back. The kids gave her grateful grins and grabbed some trays to heap with food.

 “This is just great! Lousy weather, suspicious gangsters, and a monster on the loose!” Yakko sighed as they took the trays back up to their room.

 “We could go track it down,” Dot suggested warily.

 “Nu-uh. I don’t want you two near that thing until we _know_ it’s not going to eat us,” Yakko said.

 “Good point,” Wakko said, pushing the door open. “Scratchy, Nurse, more bad news!”

 “Oh dear, what happened?” Hello Nurse asked as the kids put the trays out on the coffee table. Otto shurried out of his room, pulling on a robe to find out the new news.

 “Two of the guys who came with Purrloni are missing, with a _broken_ window this time,” Yakko said as Hello Nurse passed out extra plates and utensils.

 “Oh my,” Otto said. “Kids, as soon as the weather lets up, we’re going to leave.”

 “Can we give it a go _now_?” Wakko asked.

 “Not with the mountain roads the way they are,” Otto said, gesturing at the TV. “I’m sorry, but it’s just as dangerous to leave as stay. Can you kids hang in there and stay safe?”

 “We’ll try,” Yakko said.

.o.o.o.

 “So…there’s three people who had stuff happen to them with open windows, or open-via-smashing windows,” Yakko mused as he and his siblings headed down to the main hall to hang in front of the fire and try to warm up.

 “There’s not that many other people here,” Dot said.

 “Yeah, they were smart to leave before the storm,” Wakko groused.

 “Okay, so it’s us and ours, the detectives, Team Purrloni, Mr. Pembroke, a couple others, and the staff, right?” Yakko said as they settled down in front of the fire.

 “And the guest cabins. Oof. I’d hate to be somewhere remote right now!” Dot said.

 Her brothers both shuddered in agreement, turning to the fire to warm themselves.

 “Hello, children!” Pembroke said, coming up behind them. “Dreadful weather, isn’t it?”

 “Yeah,” Wakko agreed wholeheartedly.

 “Lousy, even,” Yakko added.

 “I’ll say,” Pembroke said, sitting behind them on a sofa. “I suppose you won’t be amusing yourselves outside today, then?”

 “Yeah, _no_ ,” Yakko said. “Why, you got any ideas?”

 “I have cards,” Pembroke offered. “Do you play any games?”

 “Go Fish?” Wakko asked.

 “Little more complicated and four players, bro,” Yakko said as Dot scooted started pulling some spare chairs over. “How about Old Maid?”

 “All right,” Pembroke said, removing the cards from his coat and setting aside the queen of hearts. “Let the games begin!”

 The kids quickly became absorbed in the game, heartily teasing whoever lost at the end of each round. Pembroke seemed to enjoy their enthusiasm, happily acquiescing to any pleas of “one more round!”

 “You got any grandkids?” Yakko asked as he shuffled the cards for Round Fifteen.

 “Two. But their family is active military, and they are overseas at the moment,” Pembroke said, momentarily looking sad. “I’ve always loved children. Taught primary school for most of my life!”

 “Faboo,” Wakko said. “You’re a neat old man.”

 “Thank you,” Pembroke said as he accepted his new hand.

 “Can we send you postcards from home?” Dot asked.

 “Yeah, we’ve never had a grandpa figure before, just Doc as a Dadoo-type,” Wakko said.

 “He must be a wonderful father to have a hand in such wonderful children,” Pembrooke said as he pulled out some paper and wrote his address down for the kids.

 Suddenly, there was a loud banging noise.

 “Oh, what now?” Yakko groaned.

 “Let’s…get you back to your guardians,” Pembroke said, hurrying the kids to their feet. “There’s been too much going on around here…”

 There was a scream. Pembroke grabbed the kids and hurried up the stairs, running into the Williams brothers.

 “Did you hear that?” Bryce asked.

 “Yes, it’s why I’m taking the children the other way!” Pembroke said. “We should find a phone, and call the proper-”

 They all froze as the window at the end of the hall shattered and two wendigos crawled through.

 “Not again,” Bryce said as John froze and started muttering under his breath. “John! Johnny, stay with me here!”

 Pembroke took one look at the wendigos, clutched his chest, and dropped.

 “ _Grandaddoo_! Nurse, nurse!” Wakko yelped, running down the hall and banging on their door before Dot opened it. Yakko tried to lift Pembroke while Bryce shot at the wendigos to drive them back.

 “Johnny will you just _help_?” Bryce groaned as John continued gibbering. Wakko “helpfully” headbutted John into their room, with Bryce hauling Pembroke in behind them and Yakko slamming the door.

 “What’s going on?” Hello Nurse asked as soon as she saw Pembroke. “Tell me everything!”

 “He clutched his heart like this!” Dot said, grabbing her chest and making a face before dropping to the floor. “It’s because he saw the monsters! I know it is! Look what it did to Mr. John!”

 “Sir, sir, please, just take some deep—eep!” Otto said, trying to calm John before spying another wendigo out the window.

 “There’s _more_?” Yakko groaned as Wakko screamed and whipped out his mallet.

 “I need time to work!” Hello Nurse said, ignoring the monsters entirely to focus on her patient.

 Two wendigos smashed through the window as three more forced the door open. One from the window lunged for Hello Nurse and Pembroke, only for Otto smack it across the head with a tray from breakfast.

 “No! Bad monster! We are doing medical work here!” Otto scolded. Bryce quickly shot it, only to swear as he needed to reload.

 “We need to buy our Nurse some time!” Otto said as he smacked another wendigo back with the breakfast tray.

 “I’ve got it! Doc, follow our lead!” Yakko said. “Sibs, let’s rumba!”

 The Warners and Otto each seized a wendigo by the hips and forced them into a conga line.

 “Romp-romp-romp-romp-romp-HEY! Romp-romp-romp-romp-romp-HEY!” Yakko counted from the back as Otto tried to steer the lead wendigo back towards the door.

 “Romp-romp-romp-romp-romp-HEY!” Dot and Wakko cheered.

 “…That’s sure a thing,” Bryce said as John continued running around the room screaming. “Can you get my brother in the line, please? Before he hurts himself?”

 “We’re not miracle workers!” Dot protested even as Wakko inserted a stunned John between himself and the wendigo ahead of him. “Or maybe we are!”

 “Clear!” Hello Nurse said, shocking Pembroke’s heart back to beating.

 “Oh my goodness!” Pembroke gasped, sitting up.

 “Welcome back, sir,” Hello Nurse said.

 “…Are we sure I’m not dead?” Pembroke asked, staring at the conga line as it finally reached the door.

 “Pretty sure!” Yakko said as Otto held the door for the line of Wendigos, which the Warners and John covertly left. “And—romp-romp-romp-romp-romp-HEY! You’re doing great, gang!”

 Otto slammed the door shut as Wakko and Dot hurriedly pulled over furniture to barricade it. “Well. That was quite the incident.”

 “What about the rest of the lodge?” Pembroke asked.

 “You mean the frozen people, the gangsters, or the cultists?” Yakko asked.

 “The _people_ , they’re at the mercy of the monsters!” Pembroke said.

 “Hm, you may have a point. Who’s up for a rescue expedition?” Yakko asked.

 Dot and Wakko eagerly called that they were, and Otto sighed, “Well, I simply _cannot_ allow you to go alone.”

 “You may need medical attention!” Hello Nurse said, hefting her medical bag.

 “Or guys who know a thing or two about monster hunting,” Bryce said. “I’m in. Johnny, you better?”

 “Never thought a conga line would save my sanity, but yeah,” Johnny said.

 “We must carefully plan this,” Otto said. “Why attack the lodge now?”

 “They’ve been content to whittle us all down until now, yeah,” Yakko mused. “Something big must be up, right?”

 “You know…they all came from the south. And you know what’s to the south?” John asked.

 “Florida?” Wakko asked.

 “…The guest cabins,” John whispered to Wakko.

 “Right, the guest cabins!” Wakko declared.  

 “Exactly!” John said.

 “Ooh, he knows how to do the act. I knew I liked him,” Yakko said, grinning.

 “Hmm…the mysterious guest cabins everyone’s been told to _leave alone_ …” Bryce mused.

 “No better place to stage evil magic,” Dot said.

 “Evil magic? The fiends!” Pembroke said.

 “Let’s check on everyone here real quick, and then storm those guest cabins,” John decided, loading his own revolver.

 “I am not so sure I am comfortable with you being armed after that stunt…” Otto sighed.

 “It’s okay, the kids snapped me back. And I give full permission to mallet me if you think I’m a danger,” John told the Warners, who saluted him.

 “All right—let’s go!” Wakko said, brandishing his mallet. “Let’s get the monsters!”

.o.o.o

 After confirming everyone else was either safely barricaded or frozen beyond saving, the team of heroes instructed the one remaining manager to call for help on every phone possible and give them a map to the guest cabins. Thankfully, Yakko was a natural navigator and soon they were off into the woods.

 “The first cabin’s up ahead!” Bryce called over the wind as they trudged through the snow.

 “Okay, everyone get ready!” Otto said. “Kids!”

 “Ready!” the Warners chorused, each brandishing their weapons of choice.

 “Pembroke!”

 “Ready!” Pembroke said, shaking his cane.

 “Nurse! Nurse?” Otto called.

 “She’s gone!” John gasped.

 “Her bag’s still here!” Dot said, putting away her pet’s box to heft the medical supplies herself.

 “And there’s monster tracks!” Wakko gasped. “They snuck up on us and…and… _TOOK OUR NURSE! AAAAAAAH!_ ”

 “Wakko!” everyone yelled after him as he raced forward and smashed his mallet into the cabin’s door, caving it in. Everyone hurried after him, getting inside in time to watch Wakko menacing a bunch of people in robes.

 “Of course, a cult,” Bryce griped as his brother pulled his gun and ordered the cultists against the wall. Wakko quickly echoed the demand, and no one was fool enouch to disobey both John and the angry middle Warner child.

 “Hey, Scratchy, you ever gone for a good ol’ cult-deprograming?” Yakko asked, grinning as he pulled out two paddleballs.

 “Yakko…this is going to be fun,” Otto decided.

.o.o.o.

 “You should hurry, we don’t know what’s going on or when those monsters will be back,” Bryce said as John, Wakko, and Dot finished barricading the cabin entrances.

“So, what’s the dish?” Yakko pleasantly asked their captives, bouncing his paddleballs casually, sometimes almost striking the cultists with the wildly ricocheting spheres. “Who’s the big guy? What’s the plan? What TV shows did you watch last night? Are you a natural blonde?”

 The cultists stared at him blankly.

 “My money is on bottle blond,” Otto said, turning a lamp so it glared down on the cultists and showed that one of the men indeed had brown roots. “Now, why are you doing all this? Quite excessive, yes?”

 “We’ll never talk!” one declared.

 “I see. Dot, your pet?” Otto asked.

 Dot beamed and skipped over with her pet’s box. “Are you sure? He’s pretty hungry!”

 “Go for it,” Yakko said.

 Dot opened the box, revealing…a two headed purple Mr. Director with fangs that screamed “Freunlaven!”

 The cultists shrieked in horror.

 “Thank you, Dot,” Otto said. She curtseyed and closed the box, skipping away.

 “Where’s our nurse?” Yakko demanded of the most terrified-seeming cultist. “What are you planning for her?”

 “She—she’s a backup! In case the summoning doesn’t work!” one cultist cried. “Please, not the scary man again!”

 “How _dare_ you!” Yakko said, throwing down his paddleballs and leaping onto the table. “Hello Nurse is nothing short of leading lady material! She’s a bonafide genius on top of a grade-A beauty! And you made her the _understudy_?”

 “For _shame_!” Wakko called from across the room.

 “Yes, boo! Boo, I say!” Pembroke shouted, getting into it. He and Wakko high-fived.

 “Now, this summoning. Who are you summoning?” Otto asked.

 “The king in yellow!” one cultist wailed.

 Everyone shared looks of horror.

 “Darn it, missed the foreshadowing,” Yakko muttered. “All right. Where is this summoning?”

 “Cabin 3! It’s higher up the mountain!” another cultist said. “Don’t bring back the scary man!”

 “Pembroke, guard ‘em! And call the cops again!” John said as everyone else hurried out towards where Cabin 3 was marked on the map. John kicked the door in, only to gasp at what he saw inside.

 Hello Nurse sat calmly tied to a chair, while another woman, seemingly drugged and heavily pregnant, was tied to the bed.

 Dot tragically put two and two together very quickly.

 “So she’s gonna…and you were gonna be the backup for…I gotta go!” Dot said, rushing over to the window and hurling out of it.

“I explained they could certainly try, but it wouldn’t work,” Hello Nurse said. “Since I use very good birth control, and all.”

 “Really? You think it would work against an Elder God’s erm…you know?” Bryce asked, unsure of how to phrase things around the kids.

 Hello Nurse shrugged, “They decided it was too risky to let the implant interfere. So, I was just going to be a blood sacrifice.”

 “Terrible,” Bryce said.

 “Mm-hm,” Hello Nurse said. “But there’s still that poor other woman to see to. Apparently, she’s going to birth a Great Old One.”

 “…Benjamin Button?” Yakko asked hopefully. The nurse shook her head. “A guy can hope.”

 “We have to do something,” Otto said.

 “I might be able to keep her alive…I did intern at a pregnancy ward in pre-med,” Hello Nurse mused.

 “I’ll help with that,” Bryce said. “Took a lot of field medic classes. You just tell me what to do, boss-lady.”

 “The health of the mother is paramount,” Hello Nurse said as they both hurried over to the other woman’s bed. “Now, she seems somewhat drugged, so hopefully she’s not in too much pain, but that could affect her recovery ability…thankfully give what the, erm, bun is, we don’t have to take its health into concern.”

 “I’d be very happy not to,” Bryce agreed.

 “All right, as for the rest of us, let’s stop that ritual!” John said.

 “Yeah!” the kids said, charging out the door.

 “…I forgot they were going to do that,” John said apologetically as Otto glared at him. They hurried after the young toons.

 They five heroes raced up the mountain, to another clearing in the woods. There was a bonfire, a dramatic circle etched in the snow.

 “Get him!” Yakko yelled, pointing at the person in the nicest robes. All three kids started pelting the leader with snowballs, as the adults took on the other cultists.

 “We’re not dealing with your dumb evil!” Wakko yelled.

 “Evil? I am bringing our great lord to this world!” the head cultist said.

 “De _lusional_ ,” Yakko mocked loudly.

 “No one calls Flint Carmine delusional!” the leader yelled.

 “We just did!” Dot shot back before the circle started to glow. “Uh-oh.”

 The kids were smart enough to jump clear as energy pulse from the circle, just as John and Otto took out the last non-Flint cultist.

 Seeing a figure starting to form in the circle, Otto quickly covered John’s eyes, hoping his fogged-over glasses would provide enough protection for himself.

 Through the mist, he could make out a tall yellow shape. It had a flat face—a mask, perhaps? Very lanky, yes, really its body put him in the mind of an emaciated Goofy now that Otto thought about it…though even _Goofy_ had better fashion sense than to wear a bunch of odd yellow wrappings. Dot would have a field day with the clothes alone.

 Huh. His glasses had already almost cleared, and yet he was still fine. Perhaps because he saw this being not as some all-powerful god, but as merely the latest jerk to become the “special friend” to his kids.

 …Or the thin air had made him a little loony. That was a possibility too.

 “Okay, okay, stop,” Dot said, holding up her hands and shaking her head after taking a good look at Hastur’s avatar. “I was told this was a summoning of a, and I quote, ‘Great Old One.’ I will give this dude _old_ , but there is no _great_ in those rags.”

 “Who does your nails?” Yakko asked, inspecting the avatar’s hands. “They _deserve_ oblivion. Look at these cuticles! Disaster!”

 Hastur gestured sharply at Yakko, and snakes sprung from the ground to surround the young toon.

 Yakko sighed and whipped out a flute to charm the snakes…which Wakko then loaded into a miniature catapult and launched at the horizon.

 Otto chuckled. Yes, it looked like the kids’ zaniness had the upper hand. He uncovered John’s eyes.

 “…Polka-dot?” John asked. Otto snickered as he watched Dot continue measuring Hastur for a polka-dot dress.

 “If you insist!” the kids shouted, Dot seizing Hastur by the hands and doing her level best to dance with him while her brothers played polka music. Hastur pulled his hands free and said something in a tongue so ancient and powerful that it made Otto’s knees shake…

 “Are you gargling wasabi or something? _Enunciate_ , man!” Yakko whined as Wakko whipped out a chalkboard and a pointer, seemingly trying to help Hastor with speaking.

 John and Otto laughed, the spell of the old tongue broken.

 “What is this?” Flint asked.

 “The Warner Brothers and the Warner Sister,” Otto joked. “Your friend there will be running for the hills soon enough.”

  “Ha! He can never be banished! If the master’s name is chanted but three times, he will always return to this plane! You have _lost_!” Flint gloated.

 The Warners all turned and beamed at Hastur. Otto felt the urge for popcorn.

 “We can make you show up and hang out with us _whenever we wan_ t so long as we chant your name right?” Yakko checked.

 “Faboo!” Wakko cheered.

 Hastur’s mask suddenly looked nervous.

 “You can be our special friend for ever and _ever_!” Dot cheered.

 “We’re going to have so much fun!” Yakko said. “It’s almost like a new sibling!”

 “And you’re already used to being the less famous sibling, so it all works out!” Dot said, twirling the end of her hair.

 “You’re just going to love the water tower!” Yakko said. “Oh, it’s got it all! And we spend a ton of time just cooped up in there with only each other for company!”

 Hastur took a step back.

 “And we can show you all our anvils, and our mallets, and our dynamite…” Yakko continued.

 “All my burping songs, and armpit songs, and the whoopee cushion orchestra I’ve been working on!” Wakko added.

 “And you can tell me how cute I am!” Dot said.

 Hastur abruptly blinked out of existence.

 “Aw. Does he not want to be friends?” Dot asked.

 Yakko grinned. “Hastur, Hastur, Hastur!”

 Hastur reappeared. This avatar was different, while the clothes were the same yellow shades it bore a squid-like head. It regarded the Warners with what might have been horror in its glowing yellow eyes.

 “Come on, man, we’re just getting started,” Yakko said, wrapping an arm around Hastur’s shoulders. Given the height difference, Hastur’s avatar was bent almost in half, Yakko holding it down without any obvious effort. The tentacles dangling from its chin dragged on the ground as Yakko started to walk. “Oh, you’re going to love the lot. Hey, you ever been behind any of the stuff the Scooby Gang looks into?”

 “Oh! You could set up a mystery just for them! They fought this guy called Nibiru awhile back, you know him? Floaty tentacle thing, but more ribbon-y, less octopus,” Dot said, perching on Hastur’s back.

 Hastur vanished again.

 “Hastur, Hastur, Hastur!” Dot said, and somehow Hastur reappeared directly beneath her and broke her fall. It was the first avatar again. Hastur threw her off and physically ran a few steps before vanishing.

 “We’re not _done_ though!” Dot complained.

 “Hastur, Hastur, Hastur!” Yakko said.

 Hastur briefly appeared—a new avatar, with angelic wings and halo—before disappearing.

 “Hastur, Hastur, Hastur!” Wakko said.

 Nothing happened.

 Flint paled, and then cried out desperately, “Hastur, Hastur, Hastur!”

 Still nothing.

 “…What?” Bryce wondered.

 “If I had to make a wager,” Otto chuckled, “the entity may have rendered himself unable to be summoned to this plane to avoid the children from dragging him to it whenever they want.”

 “You have robbed us of our lord forever?” Flint demanded, charging the Warner siblings with an outraged roar.

 Otto tripped him, tossing out a ring target for Flint to fall on as well. “Kids?”

 Yakko, Wakko, and Dot grinned before making a low whistling noise, imitating an object falling. Naturally, an anvil dropped from the sky and flattened Flint.

 “You know, with the right timing that really is a great gag,” Otto said. 

 “We’ve been _trying_ to tell you!” Yakko said, beaming. “Well, looks like we’re done here. Guess we should see if the nurse and Bryce were able to help out that woman, huh?”

 “And if the police the staff and Pembroke called finally made it,” Dot noted.

 “Let’s go,” Otto agreed as John hauled Flint out from under the anvil and cuffed him. They marched back to the cabin and Dot peered inside

 “Is the lady okay?” she asked, only to beam and wave everyone in. John stayed on the porch with Flint, not wanting to spook the poor woman further.

 The mystery woman was sitting up in bed, looking woozy.

 “Doesn’t remember a thing, outside of perhaps that her brother in law was the one who…ahem. Put the bun in the oven,” Hello Nurse said, patting her on the shoulder while Bryce put some bloody sheets in the fireplace and set them ablaze. “So she’s rather traumatized, but otherwise fine.”

 Everyone nodded. It could have probably been a lot worse.

 “I’ll write up a referral. _I_ might not be so well known, but the company letterhead always tends to get things moving along,” Otto said. “She’ll need some help, but a recovery is certainly possible.”

 “Thanks, Doc,” Bryce said. “Man, you kids sure are something.”

 “Tiny, toony, and a little loony?” Dot suggested.

 “Wrong crossover,” Yakko told her.

 “I couldn’t resist,” Dot admitted.

 “It does fit,” Bryce said. “So, the world is saved?”

 “Yep, your bro’s got the head cultist outside,” Yakko said. “Slimey type. Glad we got him.

 “Thanks. We’ll handle the cops—we’ve done this before. You ever run into these types again…give us a call,” Bryce said, handing Hello Nurse a card.

 “If they ever start trouble at the Warner Lot, we’ll let you know,” Hello Nurse said, tucking the card into her jacket.

.o.o.o.

 Everyone else at Wolf Peaks Lodge was packing up when they got back, and the Warners, Otto, and Hello Nurse quickly joined them. Yakko and Wakko waved goodbye to Maria before her father’s car sped down the mountain, and Dot gave the Williams brothers big hugs before they went back to talking with the cops.

 “So, we’ve still got a couple of days. Does anyone have anywhere in particular they’d like to go?” Otto asked as they piled their luggage back into the car.

 “The candy store!” the kids chorused.

 “Well, yes, we’re going to go to the candy store,” Otto agreed.

 “The doctor means after that,” Hello Nurse said.

 “Somewhere sunny and warm!” Wakko asked. “Please!”

 “Let’s see what we can drive to…” Otto said, pulling up maps on his phone. “…Looks like there’s a nice place in the Mojave Desert? It’s in the sixties there, now. We could get there in two days.”

 “Sounds _wonderful_ ,” Wakko said.

 “I think that’s our answer!” Yakko said.

 “Roadtrip! Again!” Dot said.

 The kids hurried towards the car, singing Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer.

 “…Want to borrow my headphones when I’m the one driving?” Hello Nurse asked.

 “Thank you,” Otto said, hugging her. “But let us give them their exuberance. It’s been quite the, erm, vacation.”

 They climbed in the car after the kids, and drove off down the mountain. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So, yeah, this was based on Cold Warning, but I swapped Ithaqua for Hastur. Mostly since Hastur had more comedic potential for the kids to abuse. Also changed most of the NPC names and added the Williamses.


End file.
